Mattering NABOBs
I was completely surprised—albeit pleasantly so—when Pierce pointed out that I had been mentioned in a Wikipedia article... (well, formerly mentioned...) most surprisingly for a seemingly inconsequential lark many, many years ago. I suppose I could be flattered (I am stoked) but really, it probably says more about the every-man aspect of Wikipedia. Even so, somebody felt that this bit of obscure (!) history was worth mentioning in that distinguished compendium, and given that, I'll add this to the record.
Setting the Stage - Some Archeology
The time is August 1989. The Internet is incubating in a handful of labs and universities. Email exists, but generally only on UNIX systems. The PC is still something found mainly in offices—and in the homes of some techno-geeks—and is usually "stand-alone." PC clock speeds are measured in teens of megahertz. Hard disks are measured in megabytes. Floppies really are floppy: five-and-a-quarter inch affairs with 1.2MB capacity; 3.5 inch "coasters" with 720KB, and the more recent 1.44MB are gaining popularity.
In these pre-historic days before the Internet, hobbyists often installed modems (typically 2400 baud affairs) into their computers and connected with each other using dial-up. Novell and Banyan offered true network LANs, but as far as remote computing, modems were the norm.
The really wonky amongst us kept our computers on all the time, running BBS ("Bulletin Board System") software, with message boards and file download services. Since this was done over phone lines, typically only one caller could access the bulletin board at any time. Bigger operations (or the geekier among us SysOps) had multiple phone lines, and could host two or sometimes more callers at one time. For the rest of us, though, the busy signal, automatic redialing, and daily access limits were the norm.
Back then, a company known as System Enhancement Associates (SEA) had created a compression tool called ARC (short for archive) which allowed people to bundle up a bunch of files into one, and compress that whole to be smaller than the sum of its parts. This was huge for shareware developers, and the bulletin boards that distributed their software. Disk space wasn't cheap, and anything larger than the most trivial file took several minutes to transfer over those "break-neck" 2400 baud modems, so having your software library compressed into ARC files meant callers could get an entire software package in one transfer, and in less time, too. It wasn't long before every entry in the downloads listing sported the .ARC extension.
Along came a fellow named Phil Katz. He produced a tool called PKARC which did everything that SEA's tool did, only faster, tighter, and then some. Cool. Less hard disk space per file. Shorter download times. More happy callers. What could be better? Well, the down side was that ARC files created by PKARC were sometimes incompatible with the decompressing tool by SEA. People were downloading ARC files that they couldn't decompress unless they had PKARC.
The outcome of this was that SEA took Phil Katz to court, prevailed, and won a huge settlement. Whether historians consider Phil the David against SEA's Goliath, (it wasn't so—both parties were small operations) or a meddling troublemaker, the upshot was that SEA won the legal battle, but lost in the court of public opinion. They soon found themselves the target of severe backlash as Phil Katz returned to the scene with an entirely new product, PKZIP, ostensibly named to be—as with everything else in his product—as far from ARC as possible. If PKARC was cool, PKZIP was cooler. Originally constrained by the ARC file format, and now legally prevented from coding for it, Phil Katz developed his own compression file format which outdid ARC, and SysOps jumped onto the ZIP bandwagon in droves for the five, ten, sometimes 15 percent improvement ZIP offered.
But soon ZIP wasn't the only alternative. No less than half a dozen other compression formats appeared on the scene thereafter, each which offered an additional one or two percent additional compression. A few SysOps recompressed their entire download library, forcing their callers to adopt that format's decompression tool. Others just accepted whatever format was uploaded, resulting in a veritable alphabet-soup of formats in their download libraries.
While most folks used ZIP, there were just enough other formats out there—with their strident adherents—to make life miserable for SysOps and average BBS-goers.
The Birth of NABOB
It was against this backdrop that Al Kalian of Palladin BBS approached me about a spoof compression tool he thought we should develop. As the SysOp of a fairly popular PC BBS, he was getting tired of not only every johnny-come-lately compression format, but the nearly religious zeal each one seemed to foster. As a SysOp of my own somewhat less popular (but still sizeable) Gravesend BBS, I could sympathize. He suggested we name the thing "NABOB," after Spiro Agnew's famous quote... He had—we both had—about all the nattering we could take. ;-)
I quickly hacked up a simple command-line tool that pretended to compress files with some silly ASCII flash-and-glitter, then in the guise of one "Roberto Gahdja" uploaded it to Palladin, along with a flimsy back story for yet another compression scheme, the jist of which was that while most compression tools could only compress to a certain level, the New Archive by Bob could achieve the level of compression heretofore reserved only for neutron stars and black holes. NABOB not only compressed data to one byte, it compressed data to one bit.
It was deliciously appropriate that the one bit, (padded with zeros to one byte) resulted in the ASCII smiley-faced character when the file was dumped to the screen.
The Mirth of NABOB, or 'Let the Bits Fall Where They May'
It didn't take long for people to take the bait. It was really great that once people got wise to NABOB, they rolled with it, continuing the lark with good-natured "support" on the board. I think we only had one humor-impaired person complain about it... (but I guess there's one of those in every crowd.)
Those were the days... ;-)
Replies: 1
Wed Sep 7, 2005 Link to this messageBOBbing for Laughs- Thomas M. TuerkeAl Kalian still had a transcript from Palladin BBS, which he sent along. I've added it below for posterity. ;-)
Messages from ...the Palladin BBS. Compiled and Downloaded on 08-26-1989 @ 06:44:03. ================================================= Section 1: General Messages Message #13064 Dated 08-23-89 @ 17:14. From: ROBERTO GAHDJA To: SYSOP (Received: on 08-23-89 @ 18:39:34) Subject: Beta-Test copy of NABOB.ARC (New Message) I would like to ask if you wish to participate in the beta-testing of what I feel is the most incredible breakthrough in compression programming yet. This program significantly improves the gains gotten by using a compression program, without too much loss in calculation time. I am asking your callers to participate by downloading the file and testing it on their own systems. I remind them that it is pre-release and not entirely bug-free, (though I haven't found one for quite a while, it is my nature to be conservative and say they still exist.) Since I have no dependable means of getting a quality replies from the users, I am asking that they leave their messages here, and I will log on to collect feedback as often as possible. If you think that your users would be interested in helping me, feel free to re-set this message to be public, (or do whatever means are called for) and then allow NABOB.ARC to be downloaded by users. Thank you for your help, in advance. Roberto Gahdja, Ph.D. Replies: 13070, 13072, 13085, 13098. Section 1: General Messages Message #13070 Dated 08-23-89 @ 19:54. From: MICHAEL DEW To: ROBERTO GAHDJA (Received: on 08-25-89 @ 18:49:52) Subject: Beta-Test copy of NABOB.ARC (Reply to Message #13064) Roberto, I think we can find some takers around here <grin>... .............msd No Replies. Section 1: General Messages Message #13072 Dated 08-23-89 @ 21:06. From: MICHAEL DEW To: ROBERTO GAHDJA (Received: on 08-25-89 @ 18:50:00) Subject: Beta-Test copy of NABOB.ARC (Reply to Message #13064) Roberto, Wellllllll..... haven't gotten real far with your program thus far.... Did several variations of the following, both singular aRoberto, Wellllll having some problems with NABOB..... makes real small files... unfortunately all are only 1 byte and contain only 1 smiley face character... command line like: NABOB A TEST NABOB*.* or NABOB A TEST NABOB.DOC result in the same.... Seems to go thru its proper charming compression... on screen.... very quickly, alas rather monotonous results..... Also if I add the .BOB extention the program aborts with I/O error F1, PC = 3736.... I'm running an XT turbo using an NEC V20 chip, no TSRs loaded, 512k available RAM, and 3 megs on the hard drive.... your move... ..........msd No Replies. Section 1: General Messages Message #13085 Dated 08-24-89 @ 14:34. From: RICHARD FINK To: ROBERTO GAHDJA (Received: on 08-25-89 @ 18:50:36) Subject: Beta-Test copy of NABOB.ARC (Reply to Message #13064) Well, one might say that another compression program in the wind is the last thing we need. But hell, lets keep the creative juices flowing ! If you have something better... good for you. It's all this thinking and energy that eventually produces the REAL Improved Product that makes things better for all of us. Good luck. No Replies. Section 1: General Messages Message #13098 Dated 08-25-89 @ 06:40. From: JIM MORAN To: ROBERTO GAHDJA (Received: on 08-25-89 @ 18:50:48) Subject: Beta-Test copy of NABOB.ARC (Reply to Message #13064) Dr. Gahdja: Thank you for enhancing my professional career. I will save my company several thousand dollars in phone charges due to the release of your excellent NABOB program. I transferred an entire hard-drive from San Francisco to a tiny directory on my machine at home using PC Anywhere, and the file transfer took 2 seconds. Sure hope that Jim Derr has BOB support in his new SHEZ release! No Replies. Section 2: BBS SysOps Backroom Message #13075 Dated 08-24-89 @ 03:39. From: STEVE SHELTON To: AL KALIAN (Received: on 08-24-89 @ 05:14:32) Subject: .BOB Files (New Message) SO Like, I'm on Jay's Board and I see this NABOB archiver. It was Uploaded by Al Kalian! Wow! It's a Beta and it 'sposed to beat ZIP and lhARC! Wow! And I'm the type of guy who converts his entire BBS to the latest whiz-bang-Beta packer at the drop of a hat! Wow! SO Like, I download this thing. I unpack it and run it without any parameters and it looks like a Beta packer to me! SO Like, I pack these Files up. Wow! Does this thing make SMALL archives or what? It Stranges. It Minces. It Dices! Wow! It's the best damn archive file maker I have ever seen! thanks, Al! Replies: 13077, 13099. Section 2: BBS SysOps Backroom Message #13077 Dated 08-24-89 @ 05:15. From: SYSOP To: STEVE SHELTON (Received: on 08-25-89 @ 11:39:12) Subject: .BOB Files (Reply to Message #13075) Steve: Glad you like it. Ought to get Katz to looking over his shoulder, huh? Al. Reply: 13087. Section 2: BBS SysOps Backroom Message #13087 Dated 08-24-89 @ 15:30. From: JIM SWITZ To: SYSOP (Received: on 08-24-89 @ 17:38:56) Subject: .BOB Files (Reply to Message #13077) I like it too, Al; very impressive indeed! One thing you should caution other users about though - be VERY careful to close all your floppy drive doors *before* running NABOB! The compression occurs so fast, and compresses so much, that the resulting file vacuum started to suck stray bits of paper into my poor AT clone through the 2 floppy drive slots! It was a real mess to clean out, especially the Post-It notes. Keep them doors closed, man. Replies: 13100, 13105. Section 2: BBS SysOps Backroom Message #13100 Dated 08-25-89 @ 06:51. From: JIM MORAN To: JIM SWITZ (Received: on 08-25-89 @ 17:02:04) Subject: .BOB Files (Reply to Message #13087) Jim: Thanks for the tip on keeping the floppy doors closed. A little too late in my case, however. I lost a throw rug, desk lamp and my new Nordstrom's necktie before I got to the big red switch to stop the thing, and my cat was clinging to my leg the whole time with its tail pointing STRAIGHT at the a: drive! Now I start it from a batch file and quickly leave the room. Thanks again. No Replies. Section 2: BBS SysOps Backroom Message #13105 Dated 08-25-89 @ 14:32. From: RICHARD FINK To: JIM SWITZ (Received: on 08-25-89 @ 17:02:52) Subject: .BOB Files (Reply to Message #13087) Hey, right you are. I didn't know what caused the rush through there but that's it... I was NABOBing my whole 100MB hard disk onto one floppy. I'm using this for backup man. It beats everything. Shew. I mean Dr. Gadjha is on to something HOT. Al, please clue him into the coming COMDEX. It will take the show. Who knows, Western Digital may want to Make-A-Deal and use his compression method in their hard disk controller technology. And dig it.... it's only the Beta version !! Reply: 13110. Section 2: BBS SysOps Backroom Message #13110 Dated 08-25-89 @ 17:04. From: JIM SWITZ To: RICHARD FINK Subject: .BOB Files (Reply to Message #13105) Nope. Western Digital and other drive makers are soon to be history, now that pretty much anything you want can be compressed and stored on a single 64k DRAM. Faster, too. No Replies. Section 2: BBS SysOps Backroom Message #13099 Dated 08-25-89 @ 06:47. From: JIM MORAN To: STEVE SHELTON (Received: on 08-25-89 @ 11:39:30) Subject: .BOB Files (Reply to Message #13075) Steve: You're right. NABOB is the best file compression ever! Phil Katz, eat your heart out! A friend of mine in New York sent me the entire Manhattan telephone directory (SHISHKA.BOB). With ZIP or ARC this would have been an expensive long-distance bill. But with BOB, no problem! As long as Dr. Gahdja doesn't change the next release too much and we don't end up with incompatible BOB files, it should become the BBS standard of the 90's. Replies: 13103, 13109. Section 2: BBS SysOps Backroom Message #13103 Dated 08-25-89 @ 11:46. From: STEVE SHELTON To: JIM MORAN Subject: .BOB Files (Reply to Message #13099) Shishka ? sheesh... it's Shickse you Goyimma! I re-bobbed my entire Board last night in a special EVENT. Worked Great. Saved considerable disk space over new "imploded" ZIP Files, (I have been running the "illegal" pkZIP v1.00 Beta for some time now). And it's FAST! too. I'm glad there are no pleas for money or drugs or the usual bullsh*t one finds in these shareware utilities. I was talking to one of my users (who should KNOW) and he says that Gahdja was a pupil of Yoshi before he became a master of the Glass Bead Game. Apparently Gahdja wrote the thing in Z80 assembler first, and then converted it to Tiny Basic because all he had to work on was an old TRS-80 portable computer. Imagine what the full, 32-bit version with OS/2 calls will be like! No Replies. Section 2: BBS SysOps Backroom Message #13109 Dated 08-25-89 @ 17:01. From: JIM SWITZ To: JIM MORAN Subject: .BOB Files (Reply to Message #13099) Gee, I misread your message there for a minute. Thought you had a file called SHIKSA.BOB. Which, of course, would be a listing of many of the girls in New York. No Replies. Section 2: BBS SysOps Backroom Message #13116 Dated 08-25-89 @ 20:44. From: HOWARD KALMER To: SYSOP (Received: on 08-26-89 @ 05:31:54) Subject: BOBBING MY FILES (New Message) Al: I have just completed 3 days of extensive, exhaustive, and exhausting tests of NABOB. I tried not to let the rave reviews influence my evaluation and even ignored the SHISHKA faction that already developed. Well am I ever disappointed. In rigorous comparison testing I found my BOBBED files to be slower to compress than the 1978 version of WACK (probably the slowest, most cumbersome archiver ever) and about as slow as as the discredited PLOP (v 3.2). But speed wasn't the only problem. BOBBED files were as large or sometimes larger than those created under Katz's gamma version of ARC, which only a few true compression aficionados remember. Looks like it's back to the drawing boards for NABOB. No Gates or Jobs yet...despite what others are saying. Howard No Replies. Section 1: General Messages Message #13122 Dated 08-26-89 @ 05:54. From: SYSOP To: All Subject: corrupted docs (New Message) If you recently downloaded the beta copy of NABOB, you might have noticed that the DOC's were incomplete. You can either download the file again, or just extract the DOC file and download it. Al. No Replies. End of messages.As a follow-up, this is only a partial transcript, and no, Howard wasn't the spoiler... dunno if I'd want to publish that... ;-}
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